You can accomplish by being kind what you cannot by force.” – Pubilius Syrus
You may have heard the saying “nice guys finish last.” People often believe that being kind means you are weak and can be easily taken advantage of.
But is this really true?
We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive.
We are suspicious and skeptical of others who are kind to us.
Kindness does not equal weakness. On the contrary, it takes a great amount of strength to be kind to someone who thinks differently than you or is slowing you down in some way.
People who perform regular acts of kindness are often more successful, have more social friends and are well liked than those who don’t.
How kindness helps you succeed:
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Kindness increases confidence. Studies show that kindness increases your self-worth.
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People remember you when you are kind and willing to help others. It sets you apart from others.
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Kindness creates a ripple effect. One person being kind in some way spreads to others, who in turn spread kindness. Kindness is contagious, fostering in more kindness.
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Kindness evokes a sense of trust. In fact, studies show that even before establishing their own credibility, leaders who are kind and project warmth are more effective than those who lead by being tough.
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Kindness helps increase employee performance. Being kind to others makes them happier which in turn makes them more productive.
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Kindness bridges gaps between people. It can reach across barriers in language, gender, locality, religion and anything else that causes people to miscommunicate.
Luis Benitez, who has summitted the Seven Summits 32 times, says that kindness and compassion are essential to overcoming terrible physical and mental challenges. He often encounters horrible challenges during his climbs.
As an example, say you see someone limping on the day you need to reach the next camp. Instead of cursing their weakness and ignoring the pain they are in, you stop to bandage their feet so they can keep up with you.
This is not just being altruistic. If a member of the party lost their ability to hike, your entire group may have to return to the start. Stopping to help a colleague ensures you achieve your own goals.
Kindness is the secret to a successful and fulfilling life. Always be kind because your actions have a bigger impact than you realize not only on you but others as well.
How To Regain A Sense Of Belonging Through Being Kind
It’s common to want to feel a sense of belonging. When we belong, we are accepted as a member of the group. A sense of belonging is a normal human need just as our need for food and shelter is. When you feel like you belong, you feel your life has value and you cope with your emotions better.
Sometimes though, we lose our sense of belonging.
This can be for a myriad of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s self esteem and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of sync with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, turmoil and emotional pain that creates a sense they are different.
As humans we are social beings. Our relationship quality is affected by our mental, physical and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”
Regaining a Sense of Belonging
One way to help regain a sense of belonging is through kindness. Kindness releases the feel-good hormone. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood. Here are some ways to regain your sense of belonging.
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Contribute to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. This not only brings them joy but will give you a feeling of connectedness.
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Have compassion for others who are different for you. Spend time helping others who are less fortunate, have different likes or needs than you.
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Let go of judgments that build walls. Instead focus on people by connecting with them. No one is perfect. We all have struggles.
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Be kind in your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance and caring.
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Begin building healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to our sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.
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Turn towards your partners for support during tough times.
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Give and receive compliments with kindness.
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Be compassionate of others who are suffering.
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Begin doing things that bring you joy. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give your time at a soup kitchen.
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Be kind to yourself instead of always putting yourself down. Take a compliment for what it truly is – an act of genuine caring and kindness.
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Join groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.
We all want to feel like we belong. When our sense of belonging becomes affected and destroyed by trauma or other factors, we need to find a way to regain it.
Kindness to both yourself and to others is one of the easiest ways to begin gaining your sense of belonging back.